Party Recipe: Not-a-Shower

There are very few places where Emily Post and this Emily disagree. One of the exceptions is when it comes to wedding showers.

Traditional etiquette demands that showers only be attended by close friends who are invited to the wedding. However, if you are having a small wedding there may be a lot of people who will not be invited to help you celebrate. Are you just going to leave those friends and coworkers out in the dust? And why do your wedding guests get stuck with the burden of giving multiple gifts?

I agree that you shouldn’t have parties just to rake in the goods from unsuspecting, uninvited acquaintances. But at the same time, I don’t think there is anything wrong with throwing a small party for friends who are not coming to the wedding.

My friend Liz is getting married this December in a small ceremony. I want to throw her a ” Liz Appreciation Party” with a few old friends. I think that there will be some sort of cap on gifts (under $10 or something homemade only) and a general avoidance of traditional shower games. Very few of our old school friends are even close to getting married and I think everyone would like to help her celebrate her engagement.

What do you think? Do you side with MissEm or Emily Post on this issue?