Urban Girl Tip: Things people in apartments should never own

Living in an apartment building comes with its own unique benefits and challenges. Largely the challenges have to do with living within earshot of several other people. For the record, I would like to formally announce today that people living in old, wood floor apartments should never own the following items:

• Rolling chairs – Not that offensive in a living room or office situation. Horribly annoying in a bedroom right when you are falling asleep. My upstairs neighbor has a very loud rolling chair in her bedroom. In my imagination she is a med student (or do I somehow know this fact about her in real life?) and the chair is actually one of those awful stools that doctors are always rolling around in when you go for a check-up.
• Platform pumps – I admit it, I violate this rule myself. But look at how divine these shoes are…You can’t say no, even if it means annoying your downstairs neighbor. Sorry Mr. Might be a Drug Dealer in apt #2!
• Tongue scraper – Through the bathroom vent in my apartment I can hear someone gag each morning right after brushing their teeth. Using my skills of deduction, I have determined that this is likely due to overzealous tongue scraping. Unless you want all your neighbors to think you are bulimic/pregnant…avoid the tongue scrapers.
• Whatever caused that crazy noise – One of the benefits of living in an apartment is you occasionally get to play “what on earth was that sound.” In my experience, your chance to play usually arrives during the middle of a mellow dinner party or right before you fall asleep. Was it a pojo stick? Dropped back of marbles? Three legged child? Your guess is as good as mine.

I wish that there was a store design specifically for the needs of apartment dwellers. It could sell quiet rolling chairs with soft wheels, noise dampening carpets, radiator thermostats and magical window screens that keep out the noise while letting in a breeze. Sort of like an Urban Outfitters…but real.