What to Wear: Relationship Fallout

Lindsay wrote in with an urgent request for a not-fun appointment tomorrow:

I know that you have done a lot of what to wear recently but I was hoping you wouldn’t mind doing one more. You see I am in need of a great outfit because I am meeting my cheating ex-boyfriend on Friday. A while back you posted about running into your ex at a kickball game and I thought maybe you could relate to my need to look fabulous for this particular occasion. I am meeting him at a park to exchange possessions (my climbing gear, clothes I left at his place, books, etc).

I’m trying to be a “little lady” in a big nasty relationship fallout. Thanks for helping me!

Lindsay didn’t go for my original suggestion of a ski mask and baseball bat. So I had to give it a little more thought:

Top – A black, low cut tunic paired with your hardest working bra. No camisole.
Jeans – Your best, most flattering pair. Note the mannequin’s authoritative stance.
Shoes – I was originally going to go with a cute pair of sneakers, for agility, but I think it is more important to be tall. This pair has a cork platform.
Headband – To keep your hair out of your eyes for maximum scowl-ability.
Bangles – A girl’s version of brass knuckles.
Bag – The biggest black handbag you can find. Both for carrying your stuff with dignity and for looking imposing.

Add some black eyeliner and a couple old friends who played on the women’s rugby team in college. Good luck, Lindsay!